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Diffusing Dissent

It is important to note that the advice given here, is not necessarily the ‘official line’, but nevertheless, is used by many Referees when controlling players.

1. Key phrases (‘one-liners’):                 Take me back to the top of this page

The trick here is to keep your ’one-liners’ short, and vary them when you can. Dissent is a difficult thing to control, and the advice given here should help you think about ways that you can use. Don’t try and remember, or use all of these tips in one go. Use one or two new ones each game, vary them slightly to suit your personality, and you will soon find that you have made up your own ‘one-liners’ to suit each incident. The main aim of the ‘one-liners’ is to diffuse the situation, to allow you to give the perpetrator a ‘rollicking’ rather that caution them. Albeit that you will sometimes need to show them a ‘yellow card’.

‘One-liner’s will depend on the character of the Referee. You will need to develop those methods that personally suit your personality. In other words, you will need to be able to ’carry-off’ these methods without looking as though they are choreographed.

For example, a very simple on-liner that I often use is "Shut up!"

That’s it – BUT there is a method in applying this simple phrase. When play is stopped, and you want to impart this strong message to a dissenting player, move away to an empty part of the field of play at least 15 yards away or more from the player you want to talk to. As you are walking to this position, say out loudly "Come here number 5" (or whatever number he is!). Moving to this position will allow the player to vent off some of his steam by the time he gets to you. Keep your eyes downwards, and when he gets near to you, simply lift your head, make eye contact and simply and quietly say to him "Shut up!" and then immediately walk away to your new position in readiness to restart play. This gives a clear message to the player, and to all those watching. It also allows the Referee to cool down himself and impart a strong message of quiet confidence and control. This method is more suitable to those Referees who have a strong bearing and a more dominant character. It would not be any good (for instance) for a new Referee, or youth Referee to try this method.

These tips are not exhaustive, and are here to give Referees some food for thought. Referees are encouraged to use their own methods and ‘one-liners’. The Referee must always be polite and NEVER swear or berate players.

One-liners and tips you can use (with a smile) without having to stop play to talk to the perpetrator.

1. "Not that old ‘chestnut’ again, can’t you think of anything more original"?
(This is a good 'one-liner' to reply to the  players' old favourite comment such as "You must be joking Ref.!")

4. "If I wanted to have an afternoon of nagging, I would have stayed at home".

5. "Stop moaning and get on with it."

6. A wry smile as you run by, is also most disconcerting to a player. This tells him that you have heard him, but think his comments are childish.

7. Use one hand to ‘brush away the fly’. In other words, use your arm and hand to wave away the dissent.

8. A simple shake of the head whilst looking at the player is another simple method of putting the player ‘in his place’.

9. When someone says "Ref, that was an awful decision", reply -
"I know, I'm the Referee from HELL" !

10. To the know-it-all coach:
"I've got a Referee's signing-on form handy for you since you know all the rules".

11. When a coach, on the opposite side of the pitch, doesn't like a decision and calls out: "Ref. What was that for." Simply raise your shoulders, shake your head and tell them: "No idea."

One-liners and tips you can use (with a smile) when play has stopped and you wish to talk to the perpetrator.

As mentioned above, the trick is for Referees to accept that football is a very emotive game, and passions will always run high. When dealing with diffusing dissent when play is stopped, and when you want to impart a warning message to a dissenting player, you must give that player a moment or two to ‘cool down’. You can do this by moving away to an empty part of the field of play at least 15 yards away or more from the player you want to talk to.

As you are walking to this position, say out loudly "Come here number 5" (or whatever number he is!).

Moving to this position will allow the player to vent off some of his steam by the time he gets to you. As the player approaches, if you anticipate that he is approaching you in a manner that suggests that he will take some stopping as he approaches you. Tell him to "calm down", "slow down", "keep a distance away" or any other verbal warning that you can think of to that effect. Do not put the whistle to your mouth (unless you want to lose more teeth than is necessary under the circumstances). At the same time, use your 'body language' by holding out both of your hands palms forward (like shooing cows back) and gesture at the player to slow down. Do not stand still at first when you are doing this, else you are likely to get stampeded. Use a bit of Law 18 Common sense, and gain a few extra moments by moving backwards a few more steps whilst making the warning actions just mentioned. Do not take too many steps backwards, because there comes a moment when you have to make a stand and show the approaching player that you are in charge and will not be intimidated. When you reach this moment - 'stick to your guns' - stand firm and erect, and then say your ‘one-liner’.

1. "I didn’t call you over here for you to give ME a lecture".

2. "If you continue to disagree with my decisions, I have no choice but to take action against you". It is important to note – do not say " The next time that I have to speak to you, it will be to caution you". This will put the Referee in a difficult position, and will leave him with no leeway but to implement the caution the next time he speaks to this player. Referees should never ‘set out their stall’, by threatening cautions next time around!

3: One exception to the above, that I personally I use, when I "really do mean that I will caution this player" the next time he misbehaves: -

"The next time you so much as fart in the rest of the game, you will be going in my book".

Once again, this line should only be used by those Referee characters that can impart this strong, final and somewhat humorous message.

5. "Are you OK? Calm down a bit. You should see your face!"

This is a useful line to diffuse a player whose eyes are ‘bulging out on stalks’. It usually ends in a smile from the player. I.e. you have broken the spell of dissent. You can then ask him to behave himself.

6. "How much are they paying you ref?"
"Not as much as that comment has just cost you player"

7. "Number 6...does he (indicating marked opponent) remind you of your girlfriend, by any chance?"
"No...not at all, Ref."
"Then you really have no excuse to be groping him like that, do you?"

8. I do a good magic trick. I show a red card and players like you disappear.

9. "When you guys stop missing the net I'll stop missing those calls".

10: When the game is being just a tad bit too much for a certain player. Tell him: "No. 9. Come over here No. 9." When the player comes over, pull some candy out of your pocket and ask him if he wants some. It's worth it just to see their faces!

1. When you have given a free kick, move away swiftly to a new position. Staying near the area of the free kick will invite dissenting comments. Players will never (or very rarely) run after you, if you’re quick enough. There will of course be occasions when you will need to remain near the area of a free kick (ceremonial free kicks, and when a player has been injured, or when you anticipate confrontation between opposing players.

2. When players (as a whole) are giving the Referee open ‘corporate’ dissent, the Referee can:

(a) Shout out loud enough for everyone to hear: "Get on with the football lads!"

(b) Stop the game (or when play has naturally stopped) call the both captains together, and say:

"If your players continue with open dissent, I have no option but to apply the letter of the Law"

(c) When open dissent is increasing, one tip is to stop play for every foul, no matter how small. Do not allow ANY advantage until the players have calmed down. Keep blowing your whistle until they get the message. Peep, peep, and peep for every infringement. If you allow advantage to flow during a tetchy game, it will undoubtedly cause you much more trouble. Advantage is applied when a player has been fouled, and play is allowed to continue because the fouled player (or his team) gain more of an advantage by continuing play, rather that restarting play with a free kick. When players are angry, or are openly showing dissent, there is a great danger of further fouls and retribution occurring if a Referee allows advantage to flow during these periods. Once the players have settled down, the Referee can consider applying advantage once again in the game.

3. Awarding Offside can invariably open up a tirade of comments from players. A useful tip for Referees (when the Referee is near the scene of the offside) is to blow the whistle long and very loud. At the same time, move away from the scene of the offside. This action has two effects. Firstly, the Referee cannot hear the dissent, and secondly, neither can anyone else! This tip can also be used when awarding free kicks.

Dealing and punishing dissent is another subject. The advice given on this page is aimed to make Referees think about the different ways of diffusing dissent. It is not meant to be an alternative way to properly punish dissent. All Referees are individuals – and as such, will need to develop their own ways in controlling players. These ideas may hint at what can be done to ease the pressure for a Referee in a game.

The examples below must be used with caution. Although they may ‘break the ice’ in certain situations, they may backfire on you – so don’t say I didn’t warn you!!!!

These are not personally endorsed by me – but hey! Keep smiling. It’s only a game after all! (WebMaster)

• Player: "There's two teams out here today Ref."
  Referee: "Really? I was wondering when your team were going to make a start."
  

• A Referee who is receiving some verbal grief from a player:
  Referee to player: "One of us might be going to the changing rooms early. Guess which one?"
  

• A Referee who is receiving some verbal grief from a player:
  Referee to player: "It’s a great pity that there are no windows in the changing rooms. I’d hate for you to miss the rest of the game"
  

• A Referee who is receiving some verbal grief from a player:
  Referee calls the player towards him, slowly puts his hand in his card pocket whilst staring at the approaching player. Pulls out his handkerchief and proceeds to blow his nose!!
  DOUBLE WARNING ON THIS ONE – only use if you can definitely get away with it! And remember to put a handkerchief in your pocket! You might need it to wipe away the tears!
  
  
• Referee’s answer to a player who keeps questioning the Referee’s decisions:
  "If I made as many mistakes as you have done in this game, I would seriously think about taking up Refereeing."
  

• Referee’s answer (with a wide smile) to a player who keeps questioning the Referee’s decisions:
  "If you carry on like that, then you and I are going to fall out - and I hate to fall out with anyone."
  

• Player: "You must be joking Ref.!"
  Referee. (With a wide show of teeth)…. "Funny you should say that."
  

• Player: "You must be joking Ref.!"
  Referee. "Yeah, but I was hoping for a quality audience today."
  

• Player "You're having a laugh Ref.!"
  Referee: "I haven't had such a good laugh since I got married."
  
  
• Player: "Your having a laugh Ref."
  Referee: "I know. That’s cause this game's such a joke!"
  

• Referee to troublesome player: "Do you know that there are only two players in this game who are giving me trouble...and YOU are BOTH of them."
  

• Player worried about the opposing team wasting time: "Are you adding this on, Ref.? "
  Referee’s reply: " Shall I add it on now or at the end of the game?"
  

• Player’s shout of frustration: "F*** me Ref.... "
  As Referee runs past the player, he quietly says: "Sorry, but you’re not my type mate!"
  

• Player’s shout of frustration: "F***in’ Hell Ref.... "
  Referee: "I hope so - for your sake!"
  

• Player: "What’s that for Ref.?"
  Referee’s reply with a shrug of the shoulders: "I don’t know".
  (You’ll get one or two strange looks but it works!)
  

• Player: "What’s that for Ref.?"
  Referee’s reply with a wide ‘knowing’ smirk: "Law 12 ‘Fouls and Misconduct’ paragraph 3, Direct Free Kick Offences!"
  
  
• Player who thinks he is a super-star: "Do you know who I am?"
  Referee’s reply: "No, but if you sign my notebook, I’ll be most grateful."
  
  
• Player who thinks that the Referee should know his name without asking for it: "You already know my name Ref."
  Referee’s reply: "I know - but my spelling is awful. Would you mind spelling it out for me?
  
  
• Player: Blimey Ref. Where did they get you from?"
  Referee: I only said I was available... I never said that I was any good. "
  

• Player with the motion of his hands, wants the Referee to card an opponent, and says, "Where's your cards Ref."
  Referee’s reply "Which colour would YOU like?"
  

• Player" "Are you blind Ref.?"
  Referee’s reply: "Yep – so you’ll have to write your own name in my notebook, if you keep going on!"
  

• Player "Are you blind Ref.?"
  Referee: "Who said that?"
  

• Referee to player: "Do you know what a football looks like?"
  Player, "Yes!"
  Referee, "Good. In that case would you mind kicking the football, and not your opponents!"
  

• Player: "Ref. You’re spoiling this game!
  Referee: "I've spoilt much better games than this matey."
  

• Player: "Keep up with play Ref."
  Referee: "I am…………… It’s those modern balls that I can’t keep up with!"
  

• Player who refuses to give the Referee his name:
  Referee to player: "You’ll have to help me here, ‘cause they don’t supply us Ref.’s with invisible ink anymore."
  
  
• REF! what kind of a call was that??
  "That was my call! Are you feeling OK? You are looking rather yellowish at the moment?" A touch of jaundice perhaps? Yellow Fever? I sure hope no red spots start appearing!
  
  
  
• Player - "Come on Ref you're not giving us anything!"
  Ref - "I'm not Father Christmas, I don't have to give you anything."
  
  
• From a player who just kicked the ball out and is trying to claim the throw/kick:
  "That's rubbish ref!"
  "Yeah I know. I would've played it downfield myself"

Players asking how much time is left. 

How much time is left Ref.?

• "Long enough!".

• "Too long!"

• "Last 5" "last 10" etc etc...

• "I wouldn't waste any time with that corner if I were you."

• "I'll let you know when it is finished!"

• "Ask your manager".

• "Ninety minutes minus whatever time we've already played!"

• "As long as it takes for my little hand to reach my big hand."

• "The end is nigh!"

• "I'll tell you when we get back in the changing room".

• "Only 10 fouls to go!"

• "About 6 inches!"

• Ok lads, inside the last 45" !
  

Many thanks to the Referees Association Discussion Board posters for their great ideas, some of which are included above. (WebMaster)

Dissent is probably one of the hardest things for any Referee to resolve...for much of it is personal and subjective. Personally, I don't think you can go into a match with a set "line," since each match is different --- different level of play; different level of intensity; different ages; different temper to the game...and, a player's reaction is likely to be different, depending on what just happened on the field.

I think rather than try to draw some arbitrary line in the sands of abstraction, it's better to focus on what is happening on the field, under the following conditions:

(1) Soccer is a game of passion and excitement, that often leads to strong emotions.

(2) My skin is thicker than that of a rhinoceros.

(3) My ears are selectively deaf, depending on the needs of the match.

(4) I prefer to use my cards to protect the players' ankles, knees, and calves, rather than to protect my own ego; and, last but not least...

(5) I'd prefer that players vent their frustrations in some way other than by hacking their opponents to bits.

Those being my assumptions...I will usually try to sense whether the player is reacting out of frustration or disappointment to a call (usual solution: ignore it and get the ball in play as son as possible), Or is seriously trying to dispute the call or embarrass a member of the Referee team. If the latter...I usually prefer a quiet word to a card --- and the word is often to a team-mate, to the effect of enlisting his help to get "Number 6...the one with the mouth over there" to tone it down.

I'll usually try to settle a player down verbally, if I think it will work. Often, simply listening to the player's concerns will make the problem go away...particularly if the problem is a transient one (i.e...frustration over a particular call, as opposed to "gaming" the Referee by smart-mouthing his every call). And it never ceases to amaze me how quickly a player will settle down, if you simply listen after asking..."Okay, Blue...what's the problem?" And then promise to watch more carefully next time: he feels he's been listened to...you don't have to admit doing anything wrong...and, on occasion, you receive some valuable feedback about things you may be missing. If fact, while I tend to filter out most petty grumblings and minor complaints, getting a sense of how things feel from the player's point of view often helps me calibrate my calls to the game they're trying to play...which, in turn, tends to eliminate most dissent from my games without it rising to the level of a problem requiring my attention.

In short...unless it threatens to affect the game, I'd prefer to give the players a little breathing room for "professional disagreements." They do not, after all, have to agree with my calls; they simply have to accept them...and I find my games easier to manage if I try to help them along...rather than playing "Pompous Dictator" on the field.

Remember...one of the major differences between God and a soccer referee is that nobody has ever seen God strutting around Heaven, pretending to be a Referee.

On the other hand...

• A player who continues to argue after play has restarted is likely to receive a caution.
• A player who follows me around...after I leave to "reposition" myself to give him the chance to cool off is likely to receive a caution.
• A player who screams something that I don't think I should pretend not to hear is likely to receive a caution.
• A player who violates one of the "Three Ps" --- Public, Persistent, or Personal --- is likely to receive a caution.

And a player who goes after a "newby" --- i.e., a youthful or obviously inexperienced assistant referee --- is GOING to get a card.

As for the rest..."abusive" language will go past dissent, and change the colour of the card. Usually, on my field, there must be something particularly nasty about the comment to warrant a red card on my field...and, if I'm doing my job properly, the player's team-mate will probably have taken care of the problem for me, well before it reaches this stage.

One caveat: if you're young...and feel a lack of self-confidence in yourself...your voice may give you away. And regardless of how confident you may appear through your body-language, if your voice is shaky or timid, you may undo everything you're trying to accomplish on the field. If this is the case, you may be better off with "physical" talk --- a "shhh" sign, or other visual signal to pipe down, may work better. (In the meantime, you might want to practice sounding "menacing.")

Many thanks to Jeff for his common sense approach and advice (WebMaster Julian Carosi)

3. Questions:                  Take me back to the top of this page

Question 1: What is the best way of dealing with a player who is being disciplined, who immediately bends over when he gets to you, and starts to untie and retie his boot laces (or turns his head away and repeatedly spits at the ground as he is listening to you.)

Answer 1: Firstly, give the player a few seconds to release his frustration, before telling him that you are waiting for him to stand up (or to stop spitting) before you have a word to him. Something along the lines of:

"Would you please stand up whilst I talk to you."   Or

"Would you mind not spitting whilst I talk to you."

Wait for the player to stand up before you speak to him, and be firm in insisting that he does not turn away from you until you have either finished speaking to him, or have shown the yellow card.

If he persists in his action, politely inform him that if he continues, he will receive an additional caution for showing dissent by action. (See Law 12 – "a player may be shown the yellow card if he shows dissent by word or action."

When a player spits sideways, ask him if the spit was meant for you? This may bring the player quickly to his senses. …….."Excuse me player, but I hope that your spit was not meant for me."

Verbal warnings to players, are one way of effectively managing situations, without resorting to cards.

To minimise confrontation, try and gauge how willing the player is to listen to your advice. Start off in a friendly manner, but if you need to get their attention, state it in no uncertain terms. In short, be prepared to give the player a chance to behave; if he doesn’t, then you will need to take an immediate and stronger approach. Do not loudly berate the player - or shout out your words. It is important that you remain calm and deliver your warning in a clam, quiet and confident way.
Sometimes, a few quick simple words to the player will suffice:

For example:
"Can you please be careful."

"This is the second time that you have made a late tackle; I will have to take further action next time."

"Just calm down a bit please, before you do something silly."

"This is unacceptable behaviour and I am giving you fair warning that this must stop. I’m giving you a moment or two, to cool down."

You need to reassure players, that you are looking out for everyone’s interests, and that you are not just there to lay down the Laws.
It is very important that you make eye contact with the player whilst you are talking to him. Let your voice inflection denote the seriousness of the message that you wish to convey. Whilst you are conversing with the player, do it in a professional manner, by showing respect – this is even more important when tempers are being lost. Whatever you do, do not belittle or talk down to players, as this will inflame the situation instead of calming it down (which is what you should be trying to achieve.)
There will be occasions when your control is challenged outright – in these situations you must tell the player that he leaves you with no other options but to take action against him in accordance with the Laws.
For example, you could say:
"I’m sorry, but your behaviour is blatantly against the Laws, and therefore I have no choice but to take the appropriate action against you."

If you have any tips I would be glad to post them here - email Julian Carosi WebMaster

End of this 'Diffusing Dissent' page

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